Finding The Right Job

In the United States, Labor Day is celebrated on the first Monday in September. The U.S Department of Labor says that Labor Day is "An annual celebration of the social and economic achievements of American workers".  Most people include the day as part of a three-day weekend.

In honor of the holiday, here's a lengthy resume of someone who quite unsuccessful in the job market:

As a young man:

• My first job was in an orange juice factory, but I couldn't concentrate on the same old boring rind, and I got canned.
• I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
• I tried working in a doughnut shop, but I soon got tired of the hole business.
• I manufactured calendars, but my days were numbered.
• I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a sew-sew job, de-pleating and de-pressing.
• I took a job as an upholsterer, but I never recovered.

In my prime:

• I tried working in a car muffler factory, but that was exhausting.
• I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it.
• I was a pilot, but tended to wing it, and I didn't have the right altitude.
• I studied to become a doctor, but I didn't have enough patients for the job.
• I became a Velcro salesman, but I couldn't stick with it.
• I tried my hand at a professional career in tennis, but it wasn't my racket. I was too high strung.
• I became a baker, but it wasn't a cakewalk, and I couldn't make enough dough. They fired me after I left a cake out in the rain.
• I was a masseuse for a while, but I rubbed people the wrong way.
• I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

Later in life:

• I became a personal trainer in a gym, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
• I thought about being a historian, but I couldn't see a future in it.
• I was an electrician, but I found the work shocking and revolting, so they discharged me.
• I tried being a teacher, but I soon lost my principal, my faculties, and my class.
• I turned to farming, but I wasn't outstanding in my field.
• I took a job as an elevator operator. The job had its ups and downs, and I got the shaft.
• I sold origami, but the business folded.

Finally: 

• I took a job at UPS, but I couldn't express myself.
• I tried being a fireman, but I suffered burnout.
• I became a banker, but I lacked interest and maturity, and finally withdrew from the job.
• I was a professional fisherman, but I couldn't live on my net income.
• I worked in a shoe factory, but I just didn't fit in. They thought I was a loafer, and I got the boot.
• I worked at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
• So, I've retired, and I find I'm a perfect fit for this job!

Five years ago today: Emoji Fun