Monday, August 22, 2022

Cracking Wise

  • What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite. 
  • What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck. 
  • What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef. Can you pea soup? 
  • Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him. 
  • Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have big fingers. 
  • Why don't blind people like to sky dive? Because it scares the dog. 
  • What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic? Sanka. 
  • What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? The location of the dirt bag. 
  • Why did Pilgrims' pants always fall down? Because they wore their belt buckle on their hat. 
  • What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? A bad golfer goes, whack, dang! A bad skydiver goes dang! Whack. 
  • How are a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce the same? Somebody's gonna' lose a trailer.
Five years ago: In The Shadow


  1. Very nice collection. And they are all non-offensive. How did you do that? I'm sending you an email.

    1. In my heart of hearts I'm just a PG-rated girl :-)

  2. I must share the Harley and Hoover with an old highschool chum who rides. LOL

    1. I hope he (or she) has a good sense of humor.

  3. Good ones. Love the dog with no legs...

  4. I had to smile at some of these cracks (that I was able to imagine): nervous wreck, pea soup, dog with no legs, bad golfer versus bad skydiver.

  5. These are great Kathy. They put a smile on my dial. Keep shiming, keep smiling. Cheers