Train Driving Drollery

There was a Bulgarian man who drove trains for a living. Driving a train had been his dream ever since he was a child, and he loved to make the train go as fast as possible. Unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash. He made it out, but a single person died.

The man went to court over this incident, was found guilty, and was sentenced to death by electrocution. When the day of the execution came, he requested a single banana as his last meal. After eating the banana, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was flown, sparks flew, and smoke filled the air, but nothing happened. The man was perfectly fine.

At the time, there was an old Bulgarian law that said a failed execution was a sign of divine intervention, so the man was allowed to go free. 

Somehow, the man managed to get his old job back. Having not learned his lesson at all, he went right back to driving the train with reckless abandon. Once again, he caused a train to crash, this time killing two people.

The trial went much the same as the first, resulting in a sentence of execution. For his final meal, the man requested two bananas. After eating the bananas, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was thrown, sparks flew, smoke filled the room. The man was once again unharmed.

Well, this of course meant that he was free to go.

 And once again, the man somehow managed to get his job back. To what should have been the surprise of no one, he crashed yet another train and killed three people. And so he once again found himself being sentenced to death. On the day of his execution, he requested his final meal: three bananas. 

The executioner said, "I've had it with you and your stupid bananas and walking out of here unharmed. I'm not giving you a thing to eat; we're strapping you in and doing this now." Well, it was against protocol, but the man was strapped in to the electric chair without a last meal. The switch was pulled, sparks flew, smoke filled the room. The man was unharmed. The executioner was speechless. 

The man looked at the executioner and said, "Oh, the bananas had nothing to do with it. I'm just a bad conductor." 

Five years ago today: It's All Spam To Me