Oh, Ben!

 The other day I wrote about Ben Franklin and his thirteen self-improvement virtues. Several of the comments talked about how he didn't do such a good job of being chaste, and Strayer mentioned a new-to-me Franklin letter called Advice to a Young Man on the Choice of a Mistress. 

I read it and was shocked. Even with Ben's reputation I couldn't believe that something like this was ever accepted. Wikipedia said that scholars have been unable to determine if Franklin was serious, or if the letter was ever sent. It was subject to censorship and 19th century obscenity laws. By the mid-20th century, though, the letter was cited as a reason to overturn the laws.

What do you think?

Advice to a Friend on Choosing a Mistress 

 June 25, 1745 

My dear Friend, I know of no Medicine fit to diminish the violent natural Inclinations you mention; and if I did, I think I should not communicate it to you. Marriage is the proper Remedy. It is the most natural State of Man, and therefore the State in which you are most likely to find solid Happiness. Your Reasons against entring into it at present, appear to me not well-founded. The circumstantial Advantages you have in View by postponing it, are not only uncertain, but they are small in comparison with that of the Thing itself, the being married and settled. It is the Man and Woman united that make the compleat human Being. Separate, she wants his Force of Body and Strength of Reason; he, her Softness, Sensibility and acute Discernment. Together they are more likely to succeed in the World. A single Man has not nearly the Value he would have in that State of Union. He is an incomplete Animal. He resembles the odd Half of a Pair of Scissars. If you get a prudent healthy Wife, your Industry in your Profession, with her good Œconomy, will be a Fortune sufficient.

But if you will not take this Counsel, and persist in thinking a Commerce with the Sex inevitable, then I repeat my former Advice, that in all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. You call this a Paradox, and demand my Reasons. They are these:

1. Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their Minds are better stor’d with Observations, their Conversation is more improving and more lastingly agreable.
2. Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. To maintain their Influence over Men, they supply the Diminution of Beauty by an Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do a 1000 Services small and great, and are the most tender and useful of all Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good Woman.
3. Because there is no hazard of Children, which irregularly produc’d may be attended with much Inconvenience.
4. Because thro’ more Experience, they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your Reputation. And with regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be rather inclin’d to excuse an old Woman who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his Manners by her good Counsels, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes.
5. Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement.
6. Because the Sin is less. The debauching a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her for Life unhappy.
7. Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend the making an old Woman happy.
8. [thly and Lastly] They are so grateful!! 

Thus much for my Paradox. But still I advise you to marry directly; being sincerely Your affectionate Friend.

Old Ben Had It Right

In Benjamin Franklin's autobiography, he lists thirteen self-improvement virtues. Each week he would focus on a different one and try to become a better person. Today, although some of the wording on his list could be updated (there are certainly additional role models for humility than Jesus and Socrates, and as Debra pointed out Ben was notorious for not being able to keep his private parts in his pants) he was honest about his imperfection. I still think the list is still a great thing to strive towards.

1. TEMPERANCE. Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.

2.  SILENCE. Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.

3. ORDER. Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.

4. RESOLUTION. Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.

5. FRUGALITY. Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing.

6. INDUSTRY. Lose no time; be always employed in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.

7. SINCERITY. Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.

8. JUSTICE. Wrong none by doing injuries or omitting the benefits that are your duty.

9. MODERATION. Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.

10. CLEANLINESS. Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, clothes, or habitation.

11. TRANQUILLITY. Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.

12.  CHASTITY. Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another’s peace or reputation.

13. HUMILITY. Imitate Jesus and Socrates.

Five years ago today: What A Pain In The (Finger)!

First-World Winter Weather Issues

It's been years since my area has experienced a major winter storm like the one that came through ten days ago, which dropped thick layers of snow and sleet on the area. That was followed by a smaller storm five days later which left several additional inches of snow. Thanks to the layer of sleet and temperatures too cold for ice-melting chemicals to work things are still not up to snuff.

Depending on where you live, there are multiple entities responsible for clearing the roads-the Missouri Department of Transportation (MoDOT) for interstates and state routes, St. Louis City or County for large arterial and subdivision streets, Municipal street departments if the street happens to be inside a city's boundaries, or commercial companies for private streets.

The small sections I traverse on a regular basis are probably better than most, although there is one left turn lane on a major road that still has a thick layer of ice on it. The plows moved the snow off the main driving lanes, but pushed it off to the side such that on-street parking is impossible. And the sidewalks are also covered with that same pushed off snow so you have to take your chances walking along the reduced-width street. There has been some thawing and refreezing, which makes that walking quite dangerous.

Once the roads were clear potholes started popping up in the streets, some of them large enough to damage the car's wheels or alignment. All I can do is try to watch where I'm driving and hope there's not a car in the other lane if I have to swerve quickly.

A third issue is in parking lots, where the plows concentrated on removing snow off the driving lanes and pushing the snow into piles and around the perimeter. Now there are tall piles of snow partially blocking many of the parking spaces. Most lots have so many spaces unavailable people are getting aggressive trying to park their vehicle.

It's supposed to get substantially above freezing over the weekend, which should allow a lot of the snow to melt. I can't wait!

Not Earth Shattering, But Still Enjoyable

The Internet is an endless source of enlightenment.

Today I learned about Landsat, which is a joint program of the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) and the U.S. Geological Survey (USGS). Since 1972 the program has launched a series of satellites that continuously capture images of the Earth's surface.

The NASA Landsat Science website has a lot of important scientific material. And some not so significant, but an awful lot of fun. One of the pages is called Your Name In Landsat. When you type a name into the box and click the Enter button, the page returns a set of images that mirror the letters in the name.

'Kathy' - can you see it?

Five years ago today: Home Sweet (New) Home

I Help You. You Help Me.

When Hubby Tony and I moved into our condo five years ago, instead of signing up for traditional cable or satellite television we chose streaming service through an app. It has worked out well, but a couple of months ago the service provider sent an email that said the app would soon stop working with our television. They offered the use of a stream box for a year, but after that we'd have to rent it from them or buy our own. 

Neither Tony or I could remember exactly how old the television was. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it, but Tony convinced me that television prices had come down enough that this would be a good excuse to upgrade. He did some Consumer Reports research, came up with a short list of models, compared those to the Costco/Sams Club/Best Buy websites, then presented me with his top picks. Shortly before the year ended he made the purchase, and the set was delivered several days later.

Creazilla

Now we had a unneeded television to get rid of. There was no reason to recycle it, and even if I had wanted to there would be a fee. I checked with the thrift stores, but learned they had a glut of sets and a temporary moratorium on donations. I decided to post the set on my local Buy Nothing group.

In the next 24 hours multiple people responded that they were interested. I asked Tony to choose a random number, counted that far down the list, and sent the person a message asking when they would like to pick up their gifted television.

The next day I carried the set downstairs to the building foyer. Less than an hour later I saw a car stop in front of the building. Someone got out, walked into the building, and walked out carrying the set. Later I received a message that read "Thank you so much for the TV. It’s such a blessing!" I didn't tell them that they helped me at least as much as I helped them. 

Five years ago today: I Get It Now

My Mind Works In Strange Ways

Several of the blogs I follow (Debby, Myra, A Joyful Chaos) sometimes participate in the Wednesday Hodgepodge, which provides a list of prompts to answer. I enjoy reading their answers to the questions.
This week one of the words prompts concerned the Lake Superior State University 2025 Banished Words list. One of the words was skibidi. I have no idea what the word means, but somehow it made me think of skidamarink, which made me think of the song that I sing to the grandchildren. (My mind works in strange ways.)

 

Skidamarink a dink a dink,

Skidamarink a doo.

I love you!

 

Skidamarink a dink a dink,

Skidamarink a doo.

I love you!

 

I love you in the morning,

And in the afternoon.

I love you in the evening,

And underneath the moon. 

 

Oh, skidamarink a dink a dink a dink,

Skidamarink a doo.

I love you!

Good Enough

The winter storm came and left. However, it left a mess behind.

Image by rawpixel.com

Sunday everything was closed, and based on my social media Monday ended up being about the same. The volunteer money counting Hubby Tony and I do at church the first Monday of the month got cancelled. His standing Monday night meeting moved to Zoom. Some stores never opened; some opened and closed early. From my seat on the couch I watched as the snowplow made several passes down the street. Eventually the street was clear, but no one shoveled the driveway to the underground building garage or the front steps and walkway. 

I called the management company and inquired about the driveway and steps, and learned they would be done that day. Didn't happen.

I was excited when the storm shut everything down, but it only took two days for me to get antsy from enforced confinement. Although Tony and I had plans to go out to eat tonight after breakfast I pulled some ham broth out of the freezer and made a pot of beans. When they were finished it felt good to know that dinner for Wednesday and Thursday night were taken care of.

This morning I received a text from the management company, which indicated they were aware of the lack of shoveling issue and the contractor would be "working diligently" to get driveways and walkways cleared. That didn't happen, but when I saw evidence that one of our neighbors had left the building in his full-sized SUV I wondered if my small SUV's tires could drive through his tracks.

It turns out they could. Tony and I ran a couple of errands, then ended up at the mall to walk. It felt so good to be out of the house. Back at the condo I could go back to concentrating on doing nothing.

Shortly before it was time to think about dinner I thought about calling the restaurant to make sure they were open. Their phone rang and rang. Tony did some research, and on the restaurant's Facebook page  a post said that due to the weather and some planned renovations they were going to be closed until Thursday.

Tony and I talked it over, and decided that beans and cornbread would be good enough.

Five years ago: Late, But Still Right On

Winter Weather Watchfulness

My area, along with a large swath of the middle of the country, is in the middle of a large winter storm. In the St. Louis area that's a mixture of snow and sleet that started last night about bedtime and will finish up by the time I wake up tomorrow.

It's been several years since significant snow has fallen here. The meteorologists have been excitedly hyping this one up for almost a week...what type of precipitation would the area get? How much? When would it start? Social media was full of memes

Hubby Tony and I went to church last night. The streets department was asking people to stay off the roads I had absolutely no reason to leave the house so I did what they said. I slept in, lingered over the newspaper after breakfast, and spent a lot of time reading. Pimento the Foster Cat was annoyed that he got breakfast late, but later in the day was thrilled to have two people around the house to cuddle with.

Mid-afternoon the precipitation temporarily stopped. Although I didn't go outside to verify, it looked like there was about four inches on the ground. The forecasters say that things will start up again, dump a couple more inches, then leave the area. A plow went down our street a couple of times, but so far the condo sidewalks haven't been shoveled. I have nowhere to go, and as all of tomorrow's commitments have been cancelled I plan on enjoying another snow day. 

Five years ago: THERE'S A Chunk Of My Life I Won't Get Back

If It's Good Enough For The Pope....

For the past few days I've contemplated what my word or phrase for 2025 would be. Quite a few positive expressions came to mind, but when I read an article about Pope Francis' Christmas Eve opening of the Holy Door of Saint Peter's Basilica to start a Jubilee Year with the theme of Hope I decided that word epitomized what I wanted for the next year to include. 

 Dictionary.com says that hope is "the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best". So I will try to find the positive in things, look on the bright side, and practice gratitude. 

A year is a long time to focus on something, so as a reminder to myself, when I put the Christmas decorations away the ornament we brought home in 2020 will continue to be displayed.

Five years ago today: Anyone Else Have The Same Problem?

A Poem To End The Year

Ring Out, Wild Bells

Ring out, wild bells, to the wild sky,

The flying cloud, the frosty light;

The year is dying in the night;

Ring out, wild bells, and let him die.

 

Ring out the old, ring in the new,

Ring, happy bells, across the snow:

The year is going, let him go;

Ring out the false, ring in the true. 

 

Ring out the grief that saps the mind,

For those that here we see no more,

Ring out the feud of rich and poor,

Ring in redress to all mankind. 

 

Ring out a slowly dying cause,

And ancient forms of party strife;

Ring in the nobler modes of life,

With sweeter manners, purer laws.

 

Ring out the want, the care the sin,

The faithless coldness of the times;

Ring out, ring out my mournful rhymes,

But ring the fuller minstrel in. 

 

Ring out false pride in place and blood,

The civic slander and the spite;

Ring in the love of truth and right,

Ring in the common love of good. 

 

Ring out old shapes of foul disease,

Ring out the narrowing lust of gold;

Ring out the thousand wars of old,

Ring in the thousand years of peace.

 

Ring in the valiant man and free,

The larger heart, the kindlier hand;

Ring out the darkness of the land,

Ring in the Christ that is to be.

 

Alfred, Lord Tennyson

Our collection of vintage brass Christmas bells