Sunday, June 16, 2019

Happy Fathers Day

Wikipedia says that a Dad Joke is:
A short joke, typically a pun, presented as a one-liner or a question and answer, but not a narrative. Generally inoffensive, dad jokes are stereotypically told by fathers among family, either with sincere humorous intent, or to intentionally provoke a negative reaction to its "dagginess".
In honor of Father's Day, here are some good examples:
  • My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.
  • What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant
  • I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
  • If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
  • I thought about going on an all-almond diet. But that's just nuts
  • Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it!
  • What is the least spoken language in the world? Sign language
  • Want to hear a joke about construction? I'm still working on it.
  • Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent.
  • I could tell a joke about pizza, but it's a little cheesy
  • If you see a robbery at an Apple Store does that make you an iWitness?
  • What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer? The space bar.
  • What's the best part about living in Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
  • To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word!
  • What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1
  • What do you call a fish without eyes? Fsh.
  • What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
  • When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.
Five years ago today: Deliberately Discourteous


  1. Thanks for these and Happy Father's Day

  2. Thanks. I’m sending these to a guy who holds live streams and tells bad jokes.

    1. You're welcome! Hope he gets a chuckle from them.

  3. My dad used to make me walk the plank. We did not have a dog.

    God bless.