Friday, June 27, 2014

When Grandma Goes To Court

A friend sent this to me.  According to Snopes, it's a legend (attributed to British author Charlie Walker), but even if it's not true it is funny.
When Grandma Goes To Court

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why yes I do know you since you were a little boy, and frankly you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think your a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes I know you.

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?

She replied, "Why yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem, He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice said:

"If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair."


  1. Replies
    1. Ya' know, I could see YOU being that straight-shooting lady :-)

  2. This one made me laugh out loud!

  3. Another laugh out loud here!!

  4. I thought attorneys were taught to never ask a question they don't already know the answer to!

    1. Your observation is exactly why the story wouldn't happen in real life, but wouldn't it be fun if it did?