Excerpts From The Diary Of A Blonde:
January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels. Helllooo! Bottles won't fit into typewriter.
March - Got really excited. Finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months. Box said 2-4 years.
April - Trapped on the Macy’s escalator for hours after the power went out.
May - Tried to make Kool-Aid, but the instructions were wrong. Eight cups of water won't fit into those little packets.
June - Tried to go water skiing. Couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July -Lost breast stroke swimming competition. Learned later that the other swimmers cheated and used their arms.
August - Got locked out of my car in rain storm. Car swamped because soft-top was open.
September - The capital of California is "C", isn't it?
October - Hate M&M's. They are so hard to peel.
November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days. Instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108.
December - Couldn't call 911, because there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone.
What a year!!