Blondie

Sent to me by a friend...

Excerpts From The Diary Of A Blonde:

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.  Helllooo!  Bottles won't fit into typewriter.

March - Got really excited. Finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.  Box said 2-4 years.

April - Trapped on the Macy’s escalator for hours after the power went out.

May - Tried to make Kool-Aid, but the instructions were wrong.  Eight cups of water won't fit into those little packets.

June - Tried to go water skiing.  Couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July -Lost breast stroke swimming competition.  Learned later that the other swimmers cheated and used their arms.

August - Got locked out of my car in rain storm.  Car swamped because soft-top was open.

September - The capital of California is "C", isn't it?

October - Hate M&M's.  They are so hard to peel.

November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.  Instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108.

December - Couldn't call 911, because there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone.

What a year!!