Funnies

This morning I sat down at my desktop computer in the kitchen and discovered the batteries in my wireless keyboard were dead. And there weren't any spares in the battery drawer.  Grrr!  Thank goodness for laptops.

I'm off to Walgreens for a pack of AAAs.  In the meantime, here's some funnies from Larry the Cable Guy.

• A day without sunshine is like night
• On the other hand, you have different fingers.
• 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
• 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
• Remember, half the people you know are below average.
• He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
• Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
• The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
• Support bacteria. They're the only culture most people have.
• A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
• Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
• If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
• How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
• OK, so what's the speed of dark?
• When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
• Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
• How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
• Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
• What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
• Why do psychics have to ask you your name?
• Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'
• Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
• Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
• Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

Yet Another Post About Bicycling

It's all Hubby Tony's fault (but that's not bad).

We're both trying to practice healthy lifestyles. Some times its easier than others, but often when one of us doesn't want to exercise the other does, and we guilt the other into joining in. On Friday we went out to dinner, and a half hour after we got home I announced we were going to take a walk.  We did.

Saturday after breakfast Tony declared it was a good day to ride our bikes.  I figured it wouldn't be polite to back out; besides it WAS a good day.  Last weekend's record-setting heat had left in the middle of the week, and the temperature was open-up-the-windows nice. Instead of riding through the nearby subdivisions, Tony decided we wanted to ride on a trail, and remembered that last fall Son Tony and I had walked on a part of the Meramec Greenway close to our house.  He suggested we try biking it.

Tony was in charge of loading up the bikes.  We used to have a carrier that attached to the back of his car and fit both bikes nicely, but last year he got a new bike with a larger frame and now that's not possible.  However, with a little effort they'll both fit in the back of my CR-V. While Tony was doing that I grabbed some snacks. We headed out a little before 10.

The ride was great fun.  This trail follows the Meramec River. It's in the flood plain, so its nice and flat! Most of the trail winds through the trees, so it was nice and shady.  The section we took is 3.3 miles, with a couple of spurs branching off. On the first half of the trip we veered off on one of them to use a restroom, and on the way back took that spur all the way to the end. Rounding everything off, we biked between 8 1/2 and 9 miles.  When we got done we sat at a picnic table next to the river and ate our snacks, then headed home.

As we were pulling into the garage Tony asked what the chances were I'd want to ride again today.  When I said yes, he left the bikes in my car, and we used his for the rest of the day.  This morning after breakfast we set out again, heading towards another trailhead for the Greenway.

There's several parks in the flood plain along the Meramec that are only nominally developed. Unger Park, where our trailhead was, is one of them. It's on the other side of the river from yesterday's adventure, tucked away off Interstate 44 behind the Anheuser-Busch Soccer Park. We followed the signs to the park entrance, then drove to the first lot and parked.

We biked from Unger Park to George Winter Park (another county park), a distance of about five miles. Once again, the trail was flat, mainly shaded, and quiet. A couple of times we rode on the street, with a golf course on one side, and for part of the trip we were in a municipal park.  When we got to the end we made a loop through part of George Winter Park, stopping at a boat ramp to look at the river, then headed back. This time there were more people on the trail (especially though the park). When we arrived back at Unger, we rode to the back of the park, then doubled back. I was REALLY happy to see the car!

When we got home we ate lunch, then I read the newspaper, did some laundry, and took a nap.  Now, several hours later I can tell I'm going to have sore muscles in various parts of my body.

Tony's already planning the next biking adventure...I suspect I'll be joining him!

If You Don't Know Me By Now

Another song I haven't thought about in a long time, thanks to today's piped-in mall music:

Potted

Every year when the weather warms up I plant what I like to call a garden (which is really just a strip next to the deck stairs in the back yard).  This year I had big growing plans.   I was going to move the patch to a different part of the yard, or maybe build some planter beds, or both. However, I went on vacation in early March.  After that I was scrambling to get caught up for weeks, then all of a sudden it was the end of April and I gave up on my big plans.

I decided to do things the same as other years, and went to the closest garden center and bought four tomato plants (Roma, Red Cherry, Black Krim, and Big Boy) and two pepper plants (Big Bertha and Big Daddy). I also bought a four-pack of orange marigolds (to ward off pests)

On Mother's Day I planted everything. The tomatoes I tried to grow from seed never took off when they were set outside, and when I moved two volunteer plants to a different part of the garden patch one of them re-rooted and thrived.  The other didn't make it. With those plants gone there were some empty spaces to fill in the bed. I went back to the garden center and looked at the selection of tomatoes. I bought a Super Sweet 100, a grape variety that's done well for me before and Fresh Salsa, which was new to me but sounded good.

When I checked out the cashier asked me if I liked to grow tomatoes, and told me they had some "rejects" in the back; I could take anything I wanted.  I always like the sound of Free, so I went to take a look.There were six plants on the shelf. All of them were lanky and hunched over--they reminded me of Charlie Brown's Christmas tree, but I can't pass up a bargain and added two of them to my box.

When I got home I planted the two good plants in the garden, then wondered what to do with the freebies. The stems were bent over, and I didn't really have any more room in the garden. Enter the freestanding containers.  I have a motley collection of repurposed pots and buckets in the garage.  I found two that were the appropriate size, drilled holes in the bottom, and got ready to plant.  I know from past experience that tomatoes form roots along the stem, so I always plant them deeply; however, in this case I buried those suckers! I broke off a few yellowed leaves at the bottom and put the plants in the pots so the root ball almost touched the bottom, then filled the pots with soil. The bent-over stems were hidden from view, supported by the dirt.

Big Mama (green pot) and Steak Sandwich (white pot) 

I moved the pots to a spot in the rocks next to the garden area. It took them a couple of days to recover from the shock of being buried, but the last few days of summer-like weather allowed them to perk up nicely. Today I inserted stakes next to the plants and tied them up with strips of plastic from newspaper sleeves.  Steak's stems are still bent out of shape, but he has a few flowers; that's a sign of tomatoes to come, so I won't judge a book by it's cover.

I realized today that eventually I'll have to find a different place for the pots.  See the greenery at the bottom of the picture?  I planted some canna lily bulbs there, and they'll soon grow tall enough to block the sunlight to the plants.  Maybe by moving the tomatoes I'll be able to figure out where to put a new garden.

NEXT YEAR.

Sauerkraut or Sauerkraut? It's All Good

The other day I got an email from Son Tony.  The subject was Homemade Saurkraut‏:

Mom, 

Gotta pass this one on. Ridiculously easy and great results. Remove the core and finely chop a head of red cabbage. Add 1.5 tbsp sea salt or pickling salt (can't use regular iodized because it messes up the fermenting) into a bowl with the cabbage. Mix firmly by hand to start breaking up the cabbage and release the juice. Pack firmly into mason jars, only fill each about 3/4 full. Add water to the jars to fill up to the neck of the jar. Seal jars and leave on the counter for 7 days. Supposed to be really good for you like yogurt because there is live bacteria unlike the canned stuff.

I love saurkraut, but had never thought of making it myself.  Of COURSE I had to try it!  Last Tuesday I bought the necessary ingredients, and after dinner I began the culinary adventure.  I had a few questions, though, and exchanged a series of texts with Tony:

Me: Getting ready to start saurkraut. Do you think using the slicing blade of food processor would make it small enough?
Tony: I read a couple recipes that recommended doing it that way. You can probably get it thinner than I did cutting by hand.
Tony: Also can't remember if I told you 2 tbsp or 1.5 tbsp of salt... Mine ended up a little salty so next time I will reduce a little.
Me: Do you remember about how many pounds your head was (or how many jars you filled)?
Tony: It was 3 lbs and it filled 2 quart jars to the top. I should have spread it into 3 jars and left more headspace so they wouldn't have leaked.
Me: Thanks for all the tips :-)

It only took me 20 minutes from the time I got out the food processor until there were two jars sitting on the counter waiting to ferment.  Based on Tony's experiences I placed a plastic produce bag underneath.  For the next week I'd check the jars a couple of times a day.  At first nothing happened, but on Day 3 the jars were sitting in a small puddle of purple liquid that had leaked out.  The same thing happened on Day 4.  In both cases I cleaned up the mess and made sure the lids were secure.

Last night we broke open the first jar and served it with leftover pork steaks and french fries. It was the best saurkraut I've ever had; crunchy but tender, with a nice sour taste.  Hubby Tony and I polished off half of one container.  Tonight I made the same dinner, substituting mashed potatoes for the fries.  I'm not sure how I'll use the second jar, but I'm looking forward to figuring it out.

One last note.  I wondered about Son Tony's choice of cabbage, so I asked him why he used red instead of the more traditional green.  His response: I just like the color!

Memorial

Today, of course, is Memorial Day in the United States. A day to remember those who have served in the military and given their lives for us.

It’s a Federal holiday, so most people are off work. Not me, though. The mall was open normal hours so I had to work my regular five-hour Monday shift.  Most years I don't give more than a token thought to the meaning behind Memorial Day (isn’t that sad?), but because I was being compelled to work I kept thinking about it and wondering what I could do to commemorate it.

Traffic was very light this morning and I got to the mall with 20 minutes to spare. I used that time to drive to a nearby Walgreens, where I bought a small American flag. At the Customer Service desk I struck the flag in a basket of green plants. I guess it wasn't too visible, because no one commented on it, but every time I looked over there it reminded me of the importance of the day.

I Did It!

Earlier this week I wrote about how I've been biking in the neighborhoods around my house.  I'd like to do more, but there are quite a few rolling hills in my area, and I have trouble getting up them.

It's pretty embarrassing to have to get off my bike halfway up a hill and walk the rest of the way.  Tonight Hubby Tony set off on our bikes after dinner and rode for about 30 minutes.  Tony led and chose the route.  As things unfolded I realized we'd be coming home through the subdivision to the east of us.  The one with the nice big hill you can coast down, and then the equally big hill going up.

I've never made it up this hill, but  tonight I was determined. I started out pretty good,  but soon I was barely turning the pedals, and going so slowly I though the bike might fall over. To distract myself, I started counting my pedal revolutions--how many times my right foot came up to the top. It took more than 50 rotations, but I'm proud to say I did it!

When I got to the top I was completely winded, and my legs were so tired I had trouble navigating the rest of the (completely flat) route to our driveway.  But if I keep it up, I suspect that soon the hill won't be so intimidating.

What A Rebel!

I was working an extra shift at the mall Customer Service desk today. Before I started my shift at noon I had a meeting scheduled at 9:30 and no time to return home to change into my work outfit of black pants, white shirt, and black closed-toe shoes.

Usually when that happens I bring my work clothes and change before I start my shift. That’s a hassle, though. Either I have to find a place to stop (bathrooms in municipal parks and gas stations are good) or I have to change in the mall bathroom and take my casual clothes back to the car.

Today I was in the mood for something different. Before I left the house I put my pants and shirt on, but instead of adding nylon knee highs and dressy shoes to complete the outfit I put on a pair of flip flops.

My unorthodox outfit made me feel like quite the rebel. Even though the temperature was hot, the breeze on my toes was really comfortable. When I got to work it only took me a minute to change my shoes before I went into the building.

The whole thing was such a positive experience I’ll have to think about doing it again!

Have Helmet Will Travel

On Wednesdays I don't have to be at work until 12:30. This morning I rolled out of bed knowing I was going to do some type of outside exercise to take advantage of what might be the last of the nice weather. Today the high temperature is supposed to be in the mid-80s (almost ten degrees over average), but starting tomorrow it looks like we'll be flirting with record highs (in the mid-90s, maybe even close to 100!).

What type of exercise, though? I've been doing a lot of walking and thought today I'd mix it up. Hubby Tony and I have been riding our bikes around the area a bit in the evenings; I decided to strike out on my own this morning. After breakfast I applied sunscreen and grabbed my cell phone. I took my bike down from the hook in the garage, put on my helmet, closed the garage door, and headed out.

Leaving the neighborhood, I took my turn at the three way stop sign by the school complex where an elementary and a middle school share a common entrance street, then rode one block and waited for the light to turn green at the stop light. I went left, then right at the first street into a subdivision.

Sometimes the subdivisions around here flow one into another. Sometimes streets are marked No Outlet. However, if you know the pedestrian cut throughs you can disregard the signs. I rode through parts of three municipalities (Manchester, Winchester, and Ballwin), trying to stay close to the curb. Some of the streets had been refinished so many times, though, the asphalt stuck up two inches higher than the gutter and made it unsafe.  On those I was forced to ride in the street. There were few cars, though, so it wasn't a problem.

My bike has ten speeds, but it's older and the gears don't work as well as they should. The hills I rode would be nothing to a real rider, but were intimidating to me. I decided I could either get off and walk the bike up them, or stand up on the pedals and attack. I chose the latter, channeling my inner Spinning persona to propel me to the top.

I looped around neighborhoods for about 45 minutes, then headed back towards home. This time when I passed the school complex there was a line of cars waiting to drop off at the elementary school.  I waved to the crossing guard as I passed by, and got a friendly wave in return.  In the garage it was harder to put the bike on the hook than it was to remove it, but I felt like that was a  sign I'd gotten some good exercise.  If I keep it up I'll be flying around on two wheels in no time.

Time To Eat! Now!!!

During the weekday Hubby Tony always gets up earlier than me. One of the things he does before I roll out of bed is feed the cats.

Last night he had business that took him away from the house, and I went to bed knowing I had cat duty this morning. I had a hard time getting to sleep. First I was too hot and got up to turn on the ceiling fan. Then I was chilly and threw the sheet over my body. I rolled from side to side trying to get comfortable, and kept looking at the clock. Finally, almost an hour after I went to bed I fell asleep. Then I woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and had to repeat the falling asleep operation all over again.

When Pepper the cat started the “feed us” process by jumping up on the bed and walking over my legs I was NOT in the mood to oblige. However, he was quite persistent. Soon his brother Jackson started in, too, meowing from the floor right next to the bed. I held out for 15 minutes before I reluctantly gave up and put food in each bowl-Pepper in the bathroom and Jackson in the main level dining room. As I crawled back in bed I heard the first birds starting to sing.

Thank goodness Tony will be home tomorrow morning to take care of the cats!