Friday, April 27, 2018

25 Signs That You Have Grown Up

Clip Art Mag
  • Your potted plants are alive. And you can't smoke one of them.
  • Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.
  • You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
  • 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.
  • You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
  • You watch the Weather Channel and carry an umbrella.
  • Your friends marry and divorce instead of hookup and breakup.
  • You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.
  • Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as 'dressed up.'
  • You're the one calling the police because those darn kids next door don't know how to turn down the stereo.
  • Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
  • You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
  • Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
  • You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's.
  • Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
  • You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
  • Dinner and a movie - The whole date instead of the beginning of one.
  • Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 a.m. would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
  • You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy test kits.
  • A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff.'
  • You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
  • "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."
  • Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
  • You don't drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
  • You read this entire list looking for one sign that doesn't apply to you.

Five years ago today: The Coffee Forecast

7 comments:

  1. Geeze, I did read the whole list, looking. Jeans and a great jacket do qualify as "dressed up", but it's the "cool old lady look".

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    Replies
    1. I guess you've gone back to the future :-)

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  2. Found one: I still love those smokable plants!

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  3. Read the whole list to my husband and we had a wonderful time reminiscing.

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