Ha-Ha

Wiktionary defines a paraprosdokian as a:

Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation.

Here are a few examples for your chuckling pleasure

• Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
• If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong 
• A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
• We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
• War does not determine who is right--only who is left.
• Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
• To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
• I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
• In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'
• Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they are sexy.
• A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
• You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
• I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
• To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
• Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
• You're never too old to learn something stupid.
• I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now.
• Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Five years ago today: Crosswords By Committee