Who Drove What?

Back in the 1980s the phrase "What would Jesus do?" (abbreviated as WWJD?) became popular. If you think about it, those same initials could also have stood for "What would Jesus (and other figures from the Bible) drive?" Some examples:

 One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because the Bible says, "God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury."

In Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage says to "pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm."

Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain "until the Ram's horn sounds a long blast."

Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel where Christ tells the crowd, "For I did not speak of my own Accord..."

Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills."

Joshua drove a Triumph sports car with a hole in its muffler: "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land."

Following Jesus' lead, the Apostles car pooled in a Honda... "The Apostles were in one Accord."

Five years ago: Make a Snowflake

The Slice Of Pie Is Getting Larger

At the end of the day today Hubby Tony crossed Day 61 off on his retirement countdown calendar. He's now forty percent of the way to being done with punching the time clock.

To celebrate the milestone, I sent him an email from the folks at Reader's Digest, which offered 9 Fascinating Facts About the Number 40 You Never Knew (And we went out for ice cream after dinner.)

1. Forty is the only number in English which has its letters in alphabetical order.
   
2. Minus 40 degrees, or “40 below”, is the only temperature that is the same in both Fahrenheit and Celsius.
   
3. When the bubonic plague gripped Europe during the Middle Ages, ships would be isolated in harbours for 40 days before passengers could go ashore. The word quarantine originates from the Venetian dialect form of the Italian quaranta giorni, meaning “40 days”.
   
4. There are 40 spaces on a Monopoly board. Proving that life is a gamble, the game gives players equal chances (one in 40) of going directly to jail or winning the Free Parking prize.
   
5. Forget “nine months” – a typical pregnancy actually lasts 40 weeks.
   
6. It took chemists 40 attempts to develop the magical spray we knew as … wait for it … WD-40 (full name: Water Displacement, 40th formula).
   
7. In literature, 40 is the number of thieves Ali Baba clashes with in the “Arabian Nights” tale.
   
8. Also, 40 is the number of winks Dr William Kitchiner suggests taking for a perfect nap in his 1821 guide.
   
9. In religion, 40 seems to be shorthand for “a long time.” Jesus spent 40 days fasting in the wilderness being tempted by the devil; the great flood lasted 40 days and 40 nights; the Jewish people wandered the desert for 40 years.

Five years ago: Kale, Yeah!

Snow And Synchronicity

Last night the news meteorologist predicted we would get snow starting at 6 am. There was nothing on the ground when my alarm went off a half hour after that time, but during breakfast a couple of flakes came down, enough to give the grass a tiny dusting of white. Then it stopped. Two hours later, just about the time I thought the forecast was wrong once again, it started snowing for real. Big flakes covered the street and sidewalk. It came down for several hours. By the time it stopped there was about an inch on the ground.

One of my To Dos for today was to get supplies at the store for tomorrow's work. I had no desire to go out while the streets were snow covered, so I amused myself all morning by working on dinner and playing on the computer. After lunch I took the recycling to the communal bin and ran into my neighbor coming in from the garage. She said she had no trouble driving, so I decided I could go out too.

At the store I knew exactly what I needed. I grabbed my supplies and headed toward the checkout. The conventional lines were very long so I moved over to the self-serve area. There, the female attendant directed me to a machine and I started scanning my items. One of them was supposed to be on clearance but rang up at a higher price. Attendant was helping someone else so I completed the purchase and figured I would have to go to the Customer Service area to complain. 

Just about that time Attendant came back to her station and I started to ask her about the price discrepancy. However, I took a look at her name tag, and a good look at her face, and realized I knew her. We had both worked at the mall Customer Service desk from 2011 until I left in 2014. Back then Attendant had a day job and worked at the desk on nights and weekends. Our schedules didn't overlap a lot, but enough that I got to know her pretty well. She was about my age, and the only one of the desk staff who also had grown children. 

After we spent a couple of minutes catching up, Attendant asked me if I had heard about our boss passing away last spring. I had not. We talked a little bit about how shocking the news was. Boss would have been in his mid-40s, but had some preexisting health conditions. I would have liked to chat longer, but there was another customer that needed assistance, so I said goodbye.

As I walked away I realized that my being at that part of that store at that time was no accident. I was meant to be there so I could run into someone I knew and hear about someone else I knew.

Five years ago: A Chair Massage Like No Other

What A Difference A Year Makes

Today was a raw, nasty mid-winter day. The temperature was high enough that the intermittent precipitation came down as rain and not snow or sleet, but that was the only positive I could think of. I thought I would walk outside, but quickly changed those plans and headed to an inside location.

At Walmart I strolled up and down most of the aisles in the store looking at the merchandise as I went along. One aisle over from the Valentine's products I came across a display of Mardi Gras decorations and accessories. Looking at the display, my first thought was "Remember just last year, when a masquerade mask is what people thought of when they heard the word?"

Five years ago today: A Box At A Time

Sprouts Begone!

Today the temperatures made it into the low 50s Fahrenheit (way above the 40° average). By the time I left the house at 9:30 to run errands it was already warm enough to put on my lighter weight winter coat, although I still wrapped a scarf around my neck. Thirty minutes later the scarf came off, and an hour after that I didn't need the coat zipped.

When I went outside to get the mail in the afternoon the temperature was even balmier. Tomorrow is forecast to be twenty degrees colder, so I knew that I needed to make the most of the warmth. I walked down to the end of my street, then turned around and came back up.

Across the street from our condo there's a retaining wall. When we moved in last winter the area at the top of the wall was a jumble of bush honeysuckle and creeping euonymus, both weedy and invasive plants. Once the weather warmed up the jumble was taken out and replaced with a row of evergreens, which will eventually grow together to make a hedge. 

However, the old plants did not go quietly. Wherever the landscapers forgot to pull up all the roots sprouts appeared. During the nice weather an employee of the condo management company would occasionally come and maintain the area, but now that it's cold I haven't seen him.

I'm thoroughly enjoying condo living, but every once in a while I still like to get my hands dirty, and decided to take advantage of being outside to pull up some of the sprouts. I walked along the wall yanking on the ones I came upon. The soil was moist from some rain earlier in the week, so many of them came out easily, spewing out pieces of dirt along with their root systems. I ripped the leaves off the stubborn sprouts, figuring that would temporarily deprive them of nutrients so they wouldn't thrive.

I've never heard that residents couldn't play at gardening, but I've never seen anyone do it. I kept looking around to make sure no one was taking offense at my efforts, but the street was quiet.

Five years ago today: Let's Call It Soup

Ternary

First Hubby Tony completed one entire row of ten days on his Retirement Countdown calendar. Then just like that a second row was history. Today he crossed off the last day of the third row. 

To commemorate the day I went to the party store and bought him a balloon to put on the corner of his desk.

The store associate added helium to the balloon and attached a long piece of ribbon to the bottom. When I got home I tied the balloon to a weight, leaving a long trail of ribbon across the floor. Jackson the cat had a good time playing with the trail for a couple of minutes, so the gift ended up being for two.

Five years ago today: It's Popcorn Time!

Putting Things Back In Order

This morning I opened up my blog and noticed that the layout was out of whack. The right sidebar wasn't where it was supposed to be; instead it was at the bottom of the first page of posts. 

I poked around in the Layout and Theme sections, but when I didn't have any luck fixing the problem I started searching through the Blogger Help posts. It didn't take long for me to find the answer to my issue. A Platinum Product Expert by the name of DarkUFO suggested the problem was some bad HTML code in one of my posts.

The solution was to open the posts up one at at time from the Dashboard and see if the sidebar was in the correct place. When I found the one where the issue started I could look at the HTML code to find the error.

That was easier said than done. Last year when I was forced to change to the New Blogger, one of the things I hated the most was that they switched to 'real' HTML. It was harder to figure out because there were no line breaks. However, I wanted to make sure things looked tidy on my blog so I did what I had to. 

Fortunately, the issue wasn't too far down the list of posts. When I found it I selected and cut the text from the Compose page. Next I clicked over to the HTML view and removed what was left (which I assumed was the 'bad' code). I pasted the cut text in, then went back to Compose to put in paragraph breaks. 

Now things are back to normal in my tiny corner of the internet universe.

Five years ago today: A Cultural Challenge

Good For Animals And People Too

A while back Hubby Tony told me he had misplaced his styptic pencil (which he uses to stop the bleeding from shaving nicks) and asked me to add it to the grocery list. I was happy to oblige. However, I could not find styptic pencils in any stores. Tony joined in the hunt and also came up empty handed.

I checked some online retailers. They had styptic pencils, but they either came in packages  that were larger than we needed or were very expensive. One day on a website dedicated to shaving I read a discussion about styptic powder as an alternative to pencils. A poster suggested buying it from a pet store. Evidently it's a common remedy used by groomers for blood due to clipping nails, and other superficial cuts and scratches

I checked with my local pet store-they had it in stock-and I picked it up the next time I was in the area.

Tony used the powder and said it worked just like a pencil would have.  Some time later I was shaving my legs and ended up with a cut on my shin. I wondered if the styptic powder would work for me, too, and decided to try it out. I followed the directions, which said to "Apply with moistened cotton tip applicator to the cut, nail, or other superficial bleeding area using moderate consistent pressure for five to ten seconds".  The powder stung like crazy for a few seconds, but the bleeding stopped immediately.

Five years ago today: My Trash Is Your Treasure

Welcome To The Future

(Author unknown) 

 CALLER: Is this Luigi's Pizza? 

 GOOGLE: No sir, it's Google Pizza. 

 CALLER: I must have dialed a wrong number, sorry. 

 GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Luigi's last month. 

CALLER: OK. I would like to order a pizza. 

GOOGLE: Do you want your usual, sir? 

CALLER: My usual? You know me? 

GOOGLE: According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust. 

CALLER: Super! That’s what I’ll have. 

 GOOGLE: May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust? 

CALLER: What? I don’t want a vegetarian pizza! 

GOOGLE: Your cholesterol is not good, sir. 

CALLER: How the hell do you know that? 

GOOGLE: Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years. 

 CALLER: Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetarian pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol. 

GOOGLE: Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you purchased only a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once at CVS Pharmacy, 4 months ago. 

CALLER: I bought more from another Pharmacy. 

GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your credit card statement. 

CALLER: I paid in cash. 

GOOGLE: But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement. 

CALLER: I have other sources of cash. 

GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your latest tax returns, unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law! 

CALLER: WHAT THE H@#&! 

GOOGLE: I'm sorry sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you. 

CALLER: Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to an island without the Internet, TV, phone service, and no one to watch me or spy on me. 

GOOGLE: I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago. 

Five years ago today: Time To De-Lurk

Scarf Up

As I've gotten older I've found it's important to keep my neck warm. If it's cold, I'm cold all over. 

Ironically, thanks to annoying hot flashes a turtleneck provides too much warmth, but I've found that wearing a scarf is helpful. Around the house I use a cotton infinity scarf that can wrap around my neck two or three times (depending on how cold I'm feeling). When I leave the house I have a silk scarf that I loop around my neck before I put my coat on. I bought a new coat this year, and the scarf's colors don't particularly match, but I don't particularly care.

One of the promotional swags I got for my birthday was $5 to spend at a big box shoe store. I stopped in there today to see what I could find. That amount of money would be a drop in the bucket on the price of a new pair of shoes, but in the clearance rack I found a 'strip' scarf made out of super soft lightweight jersey knit. Its original price was $20.00. The clearance price was 40 percent less than that, and by adding my swag it cost about what I would pay for an inexpensive lunch. Sold!

At the cash register the associate asked if I wanted my scarf in a bag. I declined, telling her I would just wear it out. She thoughtfully removed the price tag for me and stapled it to the receipt in case I needed to make a return. I thanked her, but I'm quite sure I will be keeping this scarf for a long time.

 Image by Piyapong Saydaung from Pixabay

Five years ago today: An Edible Tribute