The Worst Day Ever

Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the pharmacist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone. I had to call multiple times before he would even answer."

Immediately, the husband drove downtown to confront the pharmacist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the pharmacist told him...

Now, just a minute, listen to my side of the story.

 

This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, just to realize that I'd locked the house with both house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys.

 

Then I was driving a little too fast and got a speeding ticket. When I was three blocks from the store I had a flat tire.

 

When I finally got to the store a bunch of people were waiting for me to open up. I got the door opened and started waiting on these people. All the time the darn phone was ringing.

 

Then I had to break a roll of dimes against the cash register drawer to make change and they spilled all over the floor. I had to get down on my hands and knees to pick up the coins and the phone was still ringing. When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it. Half of them hit the floor and broke.

 

Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up. I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer."

 

And believe me Mister, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her.

 Five years ago today: Fortuitous Flowers