Teacher Life

This has been making the rounds in my social media feeds. I've spent enough time in classrooms to know it's pretty accurate.

Open your book to page 31.

No, seriously. Page 31.

Put your phone away. Close the Chromebook. Get off the game. Take your earbuds out.

Stop talking while I'm talking.

Stop talking while your classmate is talking.

Stop poking your neighbor with a pencil.

Throw your trash in the trash can. Not the floor. Not your desk. The trash can.

Put on deodorant. Please. I'm begging.

It's 24 degrees outside. Why are you wearing shorts?

Show me where you found that answer in the text. No, "I just know" is not textual evidence.

Read the directions before asking me what we're doing.

Stop making noises just to make noises.

You cannot go to the bathroom every single day at the exact same time during my class.

Yes, you need to write in complete sentences.

No, you cannot turn in a blank assignment and expect a passing grade.

Stop arguing with me about something you didn't hear because you weren't listening.

Keep your hands to yourself.

Be kind to people. Even the ones you don't particularly like.

And for the love of everything holy, **TURN TO PAGE 31.**

I spent years in a classroom, and I can assure you that if teachers are indoctrinating children into anything, it's basic hygiene, reading comprehension, personal responsibility, and the ability to follow a two-step direction without needing it repeated 47 times.

But sure. Tell me more about our secret agenda.

Five years ago: Chance Commemoration