Al-Gebra

A friend of mine retired last year.  Now that she has time on her hands, she's taken to sending out a daily joke email.  Here's one of her recent groaners that I liked--and thought you might too.

Math Teacher Arrested at JFK Airport

A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, an ancient wooden device called a “slide-rule”, and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

“Al-Gebra is a problem for us,” the Attorney General said. "They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like ‘X’ and ‘Y’ and refer to themselves as ‘unknowns,’ but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.”

"As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'." The Attorney General went on to say that "Teaching our children sentient thought processes and equipping them to solve problems is dangerous and puts our government at risk."

Five years ago today: Wonder