"Happy Returns On Your Momentous Birth Celebration"

Yesterday I turned another year older.  Over the course of the day I received birthday wishes via phone, email, Facebook, and LinkedIn.  I was surprised that a couple of the greetings even came from companies I do business with.  This one won the prize for being the most unique.

Hi there, birthday human!

Yeah, you thought you could keep it a secret from us - but we're smarter than that (we think). Even though you may be mysterious enough to be an esteemed member of the [Company] shopping team, you can't hide the fact that the sun has moved, and the stars have aligned, or the earth has rotated, and the moon has shimmied, or the earth has revoluted, or ... you get the point. Yes, on this very day, you were a-borned lo those many years ago (hey, not THAT many, you may protest). But no matter, we didn't come here to quibble over your age. We came here, actually, collectively and with great love in our hearts, to chime in and wish you Many Happy Returns on your most magical and momentous birth celebration, or to cut to the chase a wee bit, to jump out from behind the curtain and in full throat bellow the wondrous words, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" (Sorry about that ... I hope we didn't alarm you to the point that you screamed and dropped the lemon meringue pie you were carrying.)

Thank you ever so much for being a part of our team on this day, and all days! We wish we could celebrate with you in person, but just know that we are thinking about you and stand in awe of all that you do, desiring nothing but the best for you and your'n. Now, get out there and enjoy your day! We'll be awaiting your return with the proverbial bated breath (and an oxygen cart nearby just in case you're unduly delayed - after all, partying is an art form and not to be rushed) and hope that you visit us at [Website], where you will be able to find and secure the shops of your dreams!.